Author: bobfignewton

Phig’s phavorite time of the year is almost here!  College phootball season has returned!  Well, in a couple of weeks.  And that gives me time to review my phave teams and see if it should be another PHUN season, or a disappointing one.

I’m not sure why I love college phootball so much….may be the innocence of it and the true desire by all the players to win and make a name phor themselves to ensure a phuture in the Pros.  My phave team is the FLORIDA GATORS, but I really like several teams in the SEC.  Oh, that’s the Southeastern Conference phor you novices.  The GATORS have not done much the past phew years so I’ve had to cheer phor my other phave teams like FLORIDA STATE, UNIV of MIAMI, GEORGIA and CLEMSON.  Even tho I admire Nick Saban I can’t pull phor ALABAMA.  But now if the TIDE is playing phor the Championship against the likes of Oklahoma, Michigan, Notre Dame or the team
“easiest to HATE”…OHIO STATE, then ROLL TIDE!

I have already had some enjoyment in watching URBAN LIER get suspended phor three games!  Wish it was phor the season!  Hopephully, the “PHUCKEYES”(excuse my Phrench) will lose at least one of the games he will miss.  That should knock them out of a bid at the National Championship game come January.  Then everyone and the “PHUCKEYE”(excuse me again) phaithphul can blame him!

Yes, I may sound PETTY, but I don’t care when it comes to my phootball and OHIO STATE!  What was that score…..GATORS 41 PHUCKEYES(please excuse me)14?  YES, that was it…..

It truly is my phavorite past time in liphe.  Well, other than being with my kids or at a PUDDLES PITY PARTY show, which, BTW, he starts a tour of 40 shows around the country and Canada TONIGHT in Des Moines, IA.  “BREAK A LEG” PUD!  We’ll see him in St. Louis on the 10th of October!

Soon I will be spending my Sadderday afternoons and evenings splurging on my diet by eating a Subway sandwich or chicken wings phrom PUBLIX and washing it down with a cold beer while watching games!  Once a week is OK!

Now I am REALLY PUMPED phor the start of the season!  Thanks phor letting me share my phavorite past time with you.  No, the NANCE does not like any sports so I “attend” the games by myselph.  Unless BUBBA joins me…another GATOR phan.

I hope you have a great week!

GO GATORS!

PHIG

We’re back at Villa de Phig and back in the “groove” here in PUNTA GORGEOUS!  I apologize phor missing a week but I was so relaxed last week at our kid’s place that I just couldn’t get inspired to do ANYTHING!  So much phun the entire week with all of our kids!  Weather in Atlanta was perphect pool weather except phor one day.  Big Mike and Phig got in a lot of pool time!  My new hip benephitted phrom all the exercises I could do in the pool.  And they did help!  Nance and the girls are not pool people because of the sun, so it was just the guys.

Big Mike is a great chef and we enjoyed some spectacular meals!  Mostly Vegan and YES they were delicious!  All three of them are very diet conscious and very healthy, naturally!  So Nance and I learned a lot and enjoyed every special meal!  Yes, we hope to continue our new way of eating.  I lost 5 lbs and ate as much as I wanted.  Stay tuned, I will keep you posted!

Phriday night we all went to see a great Atlanta band called BOGEY & the VICEROY doing a tribute show to STEVIE WONDER.  It was great and a special guest showed up to join the band on stage phor a Wonder song.  PUDDLES the Clown rocked the house and gave all of his phans in the place a special “non-scheduled” perphormance.  It’s amazing how dedicated some of his phans are….driving hundreds of miles to see him perphorm.  It was a special night!  BOGEY and the Viceroy were spot on and put on a GREAT show!  So cool to watch a band that is having so much phun perphorming.  All prophessionals and top notch musicians.  Of course PUDDLES was PUDDLES in all his glory and brilliance.  It was a special evening too because we were with our entire Newton phamily.  That doesn’t happen very often anymore.

As I grow a little grayer each day, I realize how special it is spending time with my kids.  I am so lucky in having my kids be 3 of my best phriends.  And they are all so gracious to include Nance and I in their busy lives.  Their success allows them to do whatever they choose.  Something very privileged in today’s hectic world!  After every visit or get together, I wonder to myselph how many more times we will be together.  I will cherish each and every one of them.  And, hope there are many more!

I hope each of you are close to your phamilies.  If not, you should make it a point to correct this.  As you grow older you will understand how important your phamily is to you.  You have plenty of time to plan a phamily get together phor Thanksgiving or the Christmas holiday season.  Do not procrastinate, just do it!

WOW, did not realize how much I was typing!  Better close phor now till next week.  Next week I am going to introduce you to some of the “personalities” in my head that I live with.  Hope you can join me.  Not real sure what kind of chaos that may create!

Have a great weekend and tell someone you love them.  It will make you pheel good and might make their day very special!

PHIG

I mentioned our “little piece of PARADISE” in a previous phlog, and I want to tell you more about our little harbor town.  The history with this place goes all the way back to 1594 and Ponce de Leon and his CONQUISTADORS.  If you check google maps you will see why the PONCE chose this area.  The mouth of the Peace River has created this country’s second largest natural harbor.  Punta Gorgeous sits right in the middle of the harbor between the river and the pass out to the Gulf of Mexico.  Actually about 12 miles out to the Gulf.  By land, it is located about halph way between Sarasota and Ft. Myers, FL.  About 30 miles either way right off of Interstate 75(I-75).  Two hours to Orlando, 90 minutes to Tampa, 3 hours to Miami and 3 hours to the Ft. Lauderdale area on the east side of the state.  I’ll tell you more about our history in a later phlog.

Our weather is in the lower third or the sub tropic zone of Florida.  This just means warmer winters and more rain than the upper halph of the state.  The past phew years, we have had our share of hurricanes.  The worst was CHARLEY back in August 2004.  And it was a doozie! A direct hit! We had just moved into our home 6 months prior to this storm.  We were lucky compared to most of the people who lived in Punta Gorda.  We have had some close brushes with other storms since Charley, but nothing like that storm.  Charley was the phirst hurricane to hit PUNTA GORGEOUS in 44 years so I figger we have another 30 years or so bephore the next one!  Actually, CHARLEY was good phor our little town.  It cleared out old run down buildings and homes that were eyesores bephore the storm.  Most of the rebuilding has been done phor many years but there are still “scars” phrom 14 years ago.  The new building codes that came out after Andrew and Charley have made homes and structures much safer now than before.  If you ever have a long weekend, book a flight thru ALLEGIANT AIRLINES which is homebased at our airport here in PUNTA GORDA, and come down phor a visit!  I’ll warn you now, you will phall in love with my town!  But that’s OK, we have some beautiphul homes, condos or villas available!  AND, I will show you how you can have one phor “phree”, if you are not moving down phull time right away.  Seriously, pholks are doing it everyday!

I mentioned “VILLAS”.  The Nance and I bought a villa about 5 years ago.  It had been completely rephurbished.  It was the perphect time in our lives to move in to one.  VILLA de Phig is in a community of about 60 villa duplexes like ours.  They are approx. 1500 sq. ft.  2 bedrooms, 2 baths with an office, or in my case a “mancave”, big kitchen and 2 car garage.  15 phoot ceilings that lead out to a beautiphul lanai that Nance has turned into a jungle oasis with all of her plants.  Our villa is an end unit so it is more like a private home.  We have a phront yard down to a sidewalk unlike the other closed in duplexes.  Within easy walking distance(1/10 mile) to a brand new PUBLIX, SUBWAY, 24/7 Anytime Fitness, Liquor store, PET Store and HOME DEPOT to the south and WalGreens’, Banks, new storage complex, Prophessional offices(Doctor, Dentist, Insurance, Investments) and gas stations close.  What more do we need?!  We have a community clubhouse with a nice pool and grilling area.  The best golf course/country club in the area within walking distance.  After 40 years of mowing grass, cleaning the pool, fertilizing, spraying and landscaping…..now I do none of that! Oh GLORY BE!

I have to end this….but I hope you do go on google maps or at least check out where PUNTA GORGEOUS is located in Southwest Phlorida.

Next week we will be on vacation staying with our youngins phor a week or so and enjoying their new home outside of ATL.    Looking phorward to a lot of pool time and relaxing with my phavorite people.  Nance and my kids!

Talk with you next week……I hope you come back.  I’ll be telling you about all my “personalities” and the costumes that have created those personalities.

Have a great week!

PHIG

As a newlywed couple, Nance and Phig spent 3 years in Sault Ste Marie, MI, serving in the US Air Force. They added two beautiphul daughters born 16 months apart.  Shannon Marie and Nichole Lynn became the center of our wonderphul lives.  The good Lord had blessed our love with two healthy, intelligent, “perphect” daughters that would grow to be the “Pride and Joy” of both the Newton phamily and the Lystila phamily.  The first grandbabies in both phamilies!  Both girls turned 17 on their 4th birthdays.  Yes, you read that right….they were the “perphect” children.  Both so smart(got this phrom Nance), and phunny as Hell(yes, phrom your’s truly).  They became two of our best phriends early on, and still are.  They were always best phriends growing up and still are.  Two distinct individuals with Shannon being talented in music and dance(inphluenced by Dad), and Nikki being a gifted artist in several mediums(phrom Nance).  Both successphul in their own rights in each liphestyle.  The Nance and I are so blessed and so proud of them.

About the turn of the century, Shannon blessed us again by marrying Big Mike Geier and giving Phig and Nance, not just a son-n-law, but a son.  And what a son he is!  6 foot 8 inches of talent and entertainment the likes of which the world has never seen or heard!  Their relationship with a singing clown called “PUDDLES” has created a unique phriendship that has taken the 3 of them all over the world entertaining pholks of all ages and providing them with a “living large” liphestyle!  PUDDLES has become a “superstar” in every sense of the word and has included Shan and Mike in all of his success and experiences.  Please go to YOUTUBE and listen to PUDDLES PITY PARTY to understand his success.  You will be glad you did, and you will become a P3 Phan.

In 2003, Nance and Phig phound their “little piece of paradise” when they relocated to PUNTA GORDA, FL, or PUNTA GORGEOUS as I call it.  And it is!  I could write a book about this little jewel in southwest Phlorida.  I consider myselph the “Social Mayor” of our little harborside town.  Nance and I have been “entertaining” the people of PUNTA GORGEOUS thru the costumes she makes phor PHIG, and the “personalities” the costumes create phor Phig phor years. Watch phor one of those characters at any of the many events held here in beautiphul downtown PUNTA GORGEOUS.  Or at the table next to you at any of our wonderphul restuarants or waterin’ holes downtown. The Newtons were phortunate to have BUBBA and LYNN(Nance’s twin) relocate directly across the street phrom VILLA de PHIG, in Burnt Store Isles a couple of years ago.  So, the LYSTILA TWINS are back together!

So these phirst two phlogs in my new career of “PHLOG WRITING” introduces you to my wonderphul blessed liphe here in paradise!  Phuture phlogs will be much more diverse in many different subjects.  Some real and some phigments of my imagination!

Look phorward to talking with you again next week!  Hope to see you then….

PHIG

Hell-o WORLD!

My phirst phlog out to the world!  I’ve been looking phorward to this literally phor years!  The past two weeks has been nerve racking trying to decide what I would write in my phirst one.  Then I realized many of you don’t really know me and how I became the PHIG.  So this initial phlog will let you know who I am and why I am.  It will also explain some of my little quirks and weird habits that I use in my phlogs.  Example being, “ph” in place of an “f”.  I started this when writing my phirst phlog as President of the PHANTOMS of the ORCHESTRA.  This group is a support group phor our local Charlotte Symphony.  I got the idea phrom the “PH” in PHANTOMS.  I have used it phor years, in all my phlogs, social and professional alike.  So, get used to it.  And please let me know when I phorget to do it!  That let’s me know you are reading and paying attention!

How did I get the nickname “PHIG”(FIG).  It was actually a phootball coach in Boiling Springs, PA. that “tagged” me with this moniker.  He caught me and a good phriend, JL(I won’t use names in my phlogs, just initials) drinking chocolate milk bephore practice one afternoon.  He made us lead warm ups with the Varsity that afternoon and told the entire team my belly was like the jelly in a “FIG NEWTON” cookie phrom the milk.  It stuck!  And, Man, am I glad it did!  It has been a HUGE marketing ploy phor me in several sales careers I have done over the years.  I started using the FIG NEWTON cookies about 20 years ago.  I have a business card sticky label on the bottom of the cookie.  It always produces a smile phrom the recipient.  The NANCE(I’ll introduce soon) had alot to do with developing this marketing tool.  So, when I meet you in person, expect a FIG NEWTON cookie.

As a child, I attended 22 different schools bephore I gradutated phrom EFFINGHAM HIGH SCHOOL in Effinghan, IL.  My phather worked in road construction and we would move several times a year when he would set up a new job and then move on to the next job.  Majority of the moves were in the mid-west.  I was actually born in Southeast Missouri near Sikeston, MO.  We left that area on my 6th birthday and the adventures began!

My junior year in high school Dad bought a grocery store in Perryville, MO, and a new phase in PHIG’S liphe began.  This was in 1964 and I discovered through my great dancing abilities, a cool car, my “BEACH BOY” wardrobe, and ENGLISH LEATHER, that I was “GOD’S GIFT TO WOMEN”.  WHO KNEW?  Needless to say, I enjoyed the role and did not miss any dances!  My senior year, we moved to Effingham, IL, and I continued the role!  I introduced “dirty dancing” to the kids in this little farm town.  Similar to the movie “PHOOTLOOSE”!

One afternoon as I was coming out of FRENCH class I saw the woman of my dreams coming around the corner in the hall.  She was like a vision in the movies!  Everything else around her was a blur.  I can still see it! I phroze as she came toward me.  She did not even GLANCE my way…was this a bad dream?  PHIG being “ignored” in such a “slap in your phace” manner by this Goddess?  I was ten minutes late phor my next class just trying to rationalize what had just happened.  Her name was NANCY LYSTILA, one of the LYSTILA TWINS!  IDENTICAL TWINS! MY GOD, there was TWO of her!  Well, not really, her sister Lynn would talk with me and even accepted a ride home phrom the library one evening.  So if Lynn was phriendly with me why not NANCY!?  Why did she HATE me!?  I went home that evening after seeing NANCY phor the phirst time and told my Mother I had seen the woman I would MARRY!  True story!  Mom said “Son, you will meet MANY more girls”.  And I did, but none I would think about spending the rest of my liphe with.

OK, you are wondering how I did it…..I mentioned my Dad had a supermarket.  Of course I worked there and did everything including helping customers carry out their groceries.  Well, guess who shopped there every thursday afternoon?  NANCY’S mother, EVIE!  So I phiggered if I got to know NANCY’S MOM, and SHE liked me it might help me get to know my phuture wiphe!  IT WORKED!  Here’s how, all my best Buds knew I was crazy about NANCE and she hated my guts and they  would tease me about it.  So, one afternoon my Buds and I were playing pinochle at my pholks home and the guys started razzing me.  CW said he could get a date with NANCE bephore I could.  $5 was bet on it!  He picked up the phone by the table and called the Lystila residence asking phor NANCY.  She was very explicit(and still is today) that the twins were not allowed to date guys 3 years older!  CW got off the phone while laughing with the other two.  OK, it was my turn.  She answered(it was only 15 seconds since CW called) and when I heard her voice, my knees buckled.  Luckily, I was sitting down.  I quickly gathered myselph, and in my best “cool” voice I asked if she would like to go to a movie with me.  Again, she was explicit, same reason phor denial.  However, I said, “Is your Mom home?” to which she said “yes, she is right here in the kitchen”.  To which I said, “Ask your Mom if it is OK if you go out with PHIG NEWTON…..she did not cover the phone speaker so I heard her ask, and then I heard the most wonderphul words I had ever heard, “FIG NEWTON, oh sure, I know PHIG.  It’s OK phor you to go out with PHIG.”  My heart still phlutters just recalling what she said.  NANCE admitted years later she was upset with her Mom phor saying that, but she didn’t know what to say except “Yes, she would go out with ME”!  I took her to see “The GRADUATE”, and then real store bought PIZZA after the movie.  She had never had pizza outside her home where her Mom would make it.  It was the most nervous date I ever went on.  I had to impress her….I may not get another chance, and she was going to be my WIPHE for GOD’S sake!  The evening went great and I had her home by curphew and she had a dozen red roses waiting phor her when she got home phrom school on MONDAY!  Phirst time she had received roses!  And, most importantly, her Mom was impressed TOO!  This was over 50 years ago and we have our 49th anniversary coming up on 1 November.  I consider this my most important accomplishment in my liphetime.  With my beautiphul daughters being the second!  Of course NANCE had a lot to do with that one!

WOW, I guess I will continue my history in next week’s phlog.  Got carried away with this phirst one.

Thank you phor joining me on this inaugural plhog into PHIG’S world.  Stay tuned phor next week’s!

Talk with you then,

PHIG